Confessions of a Demon Page 27

  Her desire surged for him, her need to abandon herself to his wishes. Crave’s eyes closed as he soaked it up, as her lips pressed against his foot. It was so strong that it washed through the room. It hit me like a contact high—she practically swooned from his sudden desire to push her away from him, despite everything she was giving him. There was never a more thorough masochist than Lash.

  “Tell me why you left Dread,” he said quietly.

  She froze in the act of kissing his foot, her lips pressed against his skin. I was also caught off guard. He had been listening to us talk. He must have heard what she said in the bordello room.

  Lash pulled back, her eyes downcast. “I left him for you, Crave.”

  “No.” He smiled a little. “That’s the pretty story we tell everyone. But it’s time I know why you decided to leave him that night. What happened, Lash?”

  Her hands were still holding on to his foot as she knelt in front of him, exposed and vulnerable. Her eyes were glazed.

  He grabbed her arm, ready to pull her off him, to force her to let go. “Tell me now, Lash. Or—”

  “All right!” She took a deep breath, looking up at him. “Something… happened while I was getting ready to go out that night. My back was turned to Dread, and I was holding up a hand mirror to check my hair. He walked by and cast me a look of… I can only call it contempt. His lip curled up, as if disgusted by the sight of me. It was pure luck I saw it in the mirror. When I turned, there was nothing in his expression to suggest he wasn’t listening to every word I was saying, just like any other time.”

  She looked down at her hand as if remembering the mirror in her palm, and the image of his disdain emblazoned across it. “He tried to put me in the cage that night, and I panicked. I couldn’t do it. I lost trust in him. What else was he hiding from me? Had he been lying all those years? He was furious, but Vex intervened. I grabbed what I could and came here to you.”

  “You left because he looked at you wrong?” Crave asked in disbelief.

  Her eyes shifted away. “You should have seen it. He was so cold, so contemptuous. As if he hated me. But when I turned around, he looked like he always did, attentive, cherishing. I realized that face I knew so well, that love he showed me, it was all fake—a mask he wore for me. He never really loved me. He just needed me.”

  She was hating every second of it, while she squirmed with wild pleasure at being forced to reveal her darkest secret. Crave was soaking it up as fast as she was feeding off him, passing the flare of energy back and forth between them, an incestuous generation of power.

  “But darling,” he drawled, “I feel contempt for you from time to time. Look at you down on the floor kissing my feet.…”

  Her eyes shone, and for the first time she really looked at him. “Yes, but with you I feel your love. You want me to be happy. I know you say and do all of these awful things for me, to give me what I need, because you love me.”

  Crave stared at her. I could read it on his face—he didn’t love her.

  But Lash couldn’t see it. She bent to kiss his hand again. How could she not see that their relationship was a rapidly passing fad on Crave’s part?

  And now he knew that Lash hadn’t really left Dread for him. No wonder Lash didn’t understand the depths of Dread’s jealousy. She hadn’t left because of Crave; she had left because of Dread. She must have expected Dread to try to get her back, to woo her. His need for vengeance was baffling her.

  Crave abruptly pulled away from Lash. She cried out wordlessly, but he walked out the back door.

  I hastily withdrew, tiptoeing up the stairs to the bordello room as silently as I could.

  Perhaps Lash could see that Crave didn’t love her. But she thought she had an eternity to bind him to her.

  20

  My first indication that something was about to happen came from the tickling of a new signature. The demon approached slowly, so I had time to feel the lifting, swirling sensation grow in strength and clarity. My own signature was buoyant, but this was like being carried into the sky in an ecstatic rush.

  Glory was coming. Finally.

  Lash came to get me; she didn’t have to say a word. I followed her down to the parlor as Glory arrived. Lash looked irritable, as if she hadn’t fed enough. Crave had been sucking off her energy as fast as she drank from him. I knew what it was like to be on starvation rations.

  To avoid the reporters, Glory came in from the garden. She was alone, confident that her network of loyal offspring were patrolling the borders of her territory. Her Selma Brown persona was in her forties now, full figured and boundlessly self-assured. She was wearing a yellow print dress and sandals, with her head wrapped in a brown and gold scarf. I could easily imagine her on the stage, singing backup in a sequined evening gown.

  Crave went to stand in front of the shuttered bow window with his hands clasped behind his back. Lash stood on the other side, in the archway to the library. I felt surrounded.

  I stood up, nodding to Glory. “Nice to meet you.”

  “I don’t have time for that nonsense.” Glory came right up to me. “You tell me what’s going on here, Allay. What happened to Vex? Why did those demons attack me last night? You seem to know more about this than anyone else.”

  The time for hoarding my information was over. If I wanted to survive and save Shock, I needed Glory’s help. “Vex thought you were trying to kill me. Is it true, Glory? Did you sic Pique on me? And your other assassin?”

  “You? Kill you? Vex never said a word about you to me. Why would he care so much that he’d break an agreement we’ve had forever?”

  I was a little surprised. “Don’t you know about Vex’s Revelation that he was planning?” At their blank looks, I added, “Using me as the star attraction.”

  Glory shook her head. “It sounds to me like you’re babbling. What revelation?”

  “Vex intended to cut off my head on television so I could resurrect and prove I’m immortal. He called it ‘the Revelation.’ He said you were trying to kill me to stop him from doing it. That’s why he sent Goad’s horde against you. To kill you first.”

  Glory turned on Lash. “Do you know anything about this?”

  Lash had her hands to her mouth. “Vex always said he had big plans, but I didn’t know it was this.” She considered it a moment. “But when I think of what they’ve done, it does make sense. Dread had a possessed human for a while, a member of the church. He tended to that man like a father. But he eventually had to be put down. He was too unstable and dangerous. He almost killed Zeal.”

  “They tried to create a hybrid to be their puppet,” I said. “Then Dread decided he could be their new messiah. But Vex couldn’t let Dread get hold of that much power. He claimed that Dread’s background wouldn’t hold up to scrutiny, and that I had to do it.”

  “But why?” Crave asked. “Why would they expose us all?”

  “There’s been a technological development—it’s called the ERI. It shows the difference between humans and demons. Dread said soon they’ll be used everywhere as metal and bomb detectors, in airports, government buildings.…” From their appalled expressions, they understood the problem. “You didn’t know anything about this?” I asked Lash, unable to believe it. Vex had been so convinced she was a spy.

  But I had heard for myself the much more mundane reason why she had left Dread.

  Lash turned to Glory. “I had no idea. You don’t think I’d hide something like this from you?”

  Glory smiled blandly, but she might also consider the timing odd that Lash had defected to her line at this moment.

  I was more concerned about making my point. “Vex’s plan was to expose us first, in a way that would benefit him, so the Fellowship of Truth could take over the world.”

  Glory gave me a hard look. “You told Lash that Vex was dead.”

  I took a deep breath. “Ram killed Vex.”

  Confusion flickered in her face as she tried to figure out what I meant. I could fee
l her suspicion, as if she thought I was trying to pull a fast one. “Who did?” Glory asked.

  “Ram. You know, the stealth demon. The one who’s been causing all the mysterious deaths.”

  For the first time I saw a glimmer of recognition. “You mean Malaise. You know who killed Malaise?”

  “It was Ram.”

  Lash let out an irritated sound. “You keep saying that, but it means nothing. Who is Ram?”

  “Glory should know better than anyone. Vex said he was working with you. To destroy his line.” I watched her carefully, reaching out with my senses.

  Her suspicion was growing. “Either you’re a liar or he was. Why would he accuse me of working against him?”

  There was no tinge of deception in her aura or the way she reacted. Then again, I would never trust myself after Ram had fooled me so completely. Even if I was touching Glory, I might not be able to tell if she was hiding a longstanding relationship with Ram.

  I had to know for sure. “I don’t think Vex knew about Ram until he was being consumed. Ram was Merge’s offspring, the progenitor of Bedlam. You didn’t kill Bedlam, did you, Glory? Neither did Vex. Ram killed him after you both escaped.”

  “Vex and I killed Bedlam,” Glory insisted quickly. “We beat him to death with the iron rods that held our coffins closed.”

  She said it so calmly that it reaffirmed my opinion of these ancient demons—they had no conscience. “You killed his body, but you didn’t take his essence.”

  For the first time, Glory looked uncertain, as if she had tried so hard to convince herself and everyone else that Bedlam was truly dead, that he was never coming back. The lie they had told was so old that it had calcified into stone inside of her.

  “Bedlam isn’t coming back because Ram killed him that day he set you free.” I explained how Ram had learned to fortify his shields and told them word for word what Ram had said to Vex. Glory believed it; every word of it rang true with what had happened to her.

  “You never knew you’d been helped by a demon?” I had to ask. “You never suspected Ram existed?”

  “I thought… in weak moments I thought that Bedlam was killing the demons in my line, that he was preying on us.” Her lips clamped shut, as if even now it was difficult for her to speak about it.

  “If it’s true, then who knows where Ram is?” Lash said, coming forward. “If we can’t sense him, he could be anywhere!”

  “A secret killer among us,” Glory murmured.

  “You didn’t know about this?” Crave asked Glory, as if he had never doubted her before. Glory ignored him, lost in thought.

  Lash repeated herself, her voice rising higher. “He could be anyone!”

  “You said that,” Crave pointed out.

  Lash shot him a frown. “I mean, it could be Milo, and we wouldn’t know it.”

  “If it’s Milo, he’s doing a good job of keeping us safe.”

  Glory glanced from one to the other. There was a tightening in her eyes that said she didn’t like what she was seeing. What did she think of this love match? At this point she probably wished Lash was by Dread’s side, keeping watch over him instead of playing sex games with Crave.

  Clearly Vex had been wrong about Glory; he had been running from shadows. Glory wasn’t scheming to stop his Revelation. She wasn’t working with Ram against him; she didn’t even know Ram. And since she didn’t know him, then she couldn’t tell me anything useful to stop him.

  Now how can I keep him from killing Shock?

  Glory abruptly turned to me. “You’re dying, honey.”

  I admired her bluntness. “Yes, I know.”

  “Why didn’t you take Dread’s essence? He was defenseless, from what I hear.”

  I wondered who her spy was in the Fellowship. “I’m no murderer.”

  Glory raised her brows. “It’s your business if you want to extinguish yourself. I won’t protest, seeing as you could be coerced into becoming a religious miracle.”

  “That won’t happen, I can assure you. Dread understood that, even if Vex didn’t.”

  Glory considered me long and hard. “Your shields aren’t very good, Allay, and you wear your emotions for everyone to see. But I don’t know what you expect from me.”

  “I want to make sure Shock is safe. Ram says she’s too fertile. He said there’re too many demons, that we’re multiplying too fast for him to keep up with.”

  “Interesting… maybe we can make it a bit harder for him,” Glory said. “We could use more demons in the world. If we took better care of our newbies… Well, it’s something to consider.”

  “We need to find out more about Ram.”

  “Believe me, I’m going to talk to everyone. If anyone has information about Ram, I’ll know it. In fact, it’s a damn good thing Vex is dead or I would have killed him myself after that stunt last night. No, I’m only just getting started. Dread has to man up now that Vex is gone, and he had better not step out of line again.”

  “Will you help me protect Shock from Ram?” I didn’t add, in the time I have left. It was too morbid.

  Her gaze sharpened. “I think you should worry about yourself, Allay. He may seek you out again, now that he’s exposed himself to you. He may want to silence you.”

  “Maybe.” There was no telling what he was capable of.

  “If I were you, I’d charge myself up.” Glory lifted her admonishing finger to keep me from speaking. “Depleted as you are right now, you’re a sitting duck. You wouldn’t be able to defend yourself from anyone in this state.”

  “Seems like everyone lately has been trying to feed me.” But I wasn’t averse to the idea, now that I wasn’t being stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey for Dread’s pleasure. “If I really bulk up, how long do I have left?”

  Glory leaned over and patted my leg. “Two days, maybe three. You’d better be sure this is the path you want to be on, Allay.”

  “I thought I had weeks left.”

  “You’ve been sorely taxed, taken to the brink of death, if I’m not mistaken. There are limits to the soul, and you’ve found yours.”

  I nodded, struck to the core. I’m going to die. Day after tomorrow.

  Glory gestured to Crave. “Give Allay some energy, Crave. You’re burning so bright, you’re hurting my eyes.”

  Crave hesitated, glancing over at Lash. She was offended by Glory’s suggestion.

  “I can find someone else,” I quickly assured Glory.

  “Nonsense! Crave is busting out with more than enough. He could give you half and you’d both be up for anything.” Glory’s voice grew firmer. “So do it.”

  “What if she tries to steal Crave’s essence when he opens to her?” Lash demanded. “What if this is some kind of elaborate ruse… ?”

  Nobody was buying that, and Lash trailed off.

  “All I’m talking about is a little power exchange,” Glory said, exasperated. “I’m not telling you to fuck her.”

  Her voice rang in the air, and I felt myself blush like I hadn’t since I was a teenager. But I did want to take what Crave could give me. I needed to fully heal myself now that I had only a limited number of hours left. I had to work fast to take care of Shock.

  Crave sat down next to me on the sofa and held out his hand. I silently took it, accepting the energy he began pumping into me. His palm was firm and square, his fingers light on mine.

  Lash shot daggers at him, refusing to meet my gaze. She began pacing again, swishing her skirt from side to side like an angry cat. I felt quite detached from Crave even though his power began to course through me, lighting me up like a Christmas tree. It felt like sparklers tingling across my skin instead of something that drove deep inside of me, like Ram’s energy. Crave was a devastatingly handsome man with an undeniable magnetism, but I’d been burned black around my heart where Ram had touched me.

  Glory sat back, a huge grin on her face, clasping her hands across her thick waist. “I’m a betting woman, Allay, and I think you’re not going to let yo
urself die. I think you and I can work together.”

  An hour later, we had agreed to a mutual nonaggression pack. Glory agreed to help Shock, if she could, though she didn’t sound too confident. I wasn’t, either. If Ram wanted to get to Shock, Glory wouldn’t be able to stop him. Glory asked me to keep quiet about the ERI machine until she could explain it to her own demons and figure out what they would do about it.

  It seemed like such a faraway concern, months in the future, way beyond what I needed to worry about. I was almost glad I wouldn’t have to be part of the debacle that was sure to come when demons were outed to the world.

  With nothing else to gain, I was ready to leave Harlem. I wasn’t about to share everything I knew with Glory—such as the fact that Revel was already scouring recorded history to find out more about Merge. Now Revel was my only hope. How sad was that?

  I rubbed my hands together, but I couldn’t erase the feel of Crave’s palm. I was more charged up than I’d ever been. Lash was glaring at me as if I had stolen the food off her plate and eaten it in front of her. She had insisted on taking back the Prada dress, practically ripping it off me. But Crave finally let her feed from him, chastised by Glory’s sharp order to give the “poor girl” a break. That quelled Lash until I could change into her reluctant donation of an expensive pair of slacks and a cashmere shell, the most casual clothes she owned. Lash hated every second of my negotiation with Glory, not that she distrusted me. Her jealousy burned too brightly for any of us to ignore.

  When Glory left through the back door, I went with her. To avoid the paparazzi, I followed her over the short chain-link fences that separated the gardens. At the end of the block was a larger apartment building with a yard surrounded by an old wooden fence. It was easy to get over using the thick crossbeams, though it was funny watching a forty-something, full-figured woman climbing over it so nonchalantly. I landed in a grassy patch with some scraggly bushes along one side. A walkway and a gate led out to the street. There wasn’t anyone in sight.